Hurting You
by MazzaRedd
Summary: XMen, sort of sequel to Ten Years For a Good Life, Jean's POV


Hurting You

I can see Scott looking out the window, he's looking at me.

I can sense his hurt and jealousy deep down inside, it was me that caused that

I always wondered if I did the right thing.

I don't love Logan, he's just attractive. I mean our relationship is just sex.

I know deep down inside that I have feelings for Scott and not just as a friend.

The only close friend I've ever had, and I go hurt him.

Scott has always been a sensitive guy, though he hides it.

He doesn't want anyone to know that he is scared, he says it will ruin him.

I don't understand what he means by that, if he's hurting he doesn't tell anyone.

Instead, he goes up to his room and cries for hours, that often upsets me.

The first time I saw him cry was a few weeks after he first came here, he was alone in his room.

He had just settled at his new home, he thought about his life over the years.

No family, no home for ten years, abused physically and mentally.

I was just becoming use to my powers, the Professor took the shields off.

I felt his pain strong in my mind, everything he'd been through was in my mind.

I knocked on the door, I could hear his sobs through the door, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." He choked out. I entered and he was curled up in a ball on his bed.

That was the first time we made a connection, I knew he would be my best friend for the rest of my life

It was the first of many times he fell asleep in my arms, he told me everything about his life.

His eighteenth birthday last year, his present, leader of the X-men and a car. 

The Professor trusted him with that responsibility, and I did too.

He said it was the best birthday he had for a while, one with a family. 

Of course I had to get him something, which I did.

One day we were out shopping in the city, we went ice-skating that day. 

It was fun. The first time I heard Scott laugh. He had smiled, but never laughed.

I fell. He laughed. That brought a smile to my face, he was finally living a happy life again.

On the way home we walked by a music store, he just stopped and stared at the window.

"My dad played guitar." I was expecting sadness from him, instead there was happiness.

"I would love to play the guitar, in memory of him."

So that was his birthday present from me, and he ain't all bad at it. No lessons, just memories.

Three months after that, Beast, Colossus, Iceman and Storm joined the team.

Scott got really serious. His new way, his new style. 

He's always serious when he's round the team

But when he's alone with me, he's another person.

He would smile, laugh, joke, play the guitar and on the odd occasion have pillow fights.

Of course the rest of the team thought we were a couple.

That would've been nice, I always wanted a boyfriend like Scott.

I had feelings for him the minute we found him. I fell in love with him.

I wanted to tell him, really I did, but I wanted him to make the first move.

One night me and Scott watched a movie in his room. I thought he was going to ask.

The way he just held me in his strong arms. Boy did he change his appearance.

When we found him, he was nothing more than a bag of bones. 

Long, messed up hair, clothes way too big for him, dirty, bruised and dry blood on his skin.

Now look at him. Tall, a clear foot taller than me, incredible build, short hair, goatee

He was a whole different boy. Boy is the wrong word, he was a man now.

So anyway, he stared at me nearly all night, he gently stroked his fingers up and down my arm.

By the end of the night, I was heading back to my room. 

"Jean," He called just as I was leaving. "Thanks for being with me tonight."

"Anytime." He smiled at me, then he leaned forward to me, bent his head down.

He kissed me……………on the cheek.

He told me I was a great friend, and he didn't want that to change.

That's when I thought he didn't have feelings for me.

But once again I was wrong.

"Jean!!" Storm shouted as I was leaving the breakfast area. "Can I speak to you?"

We went up to my room, the look on her face, excitement. 

I thought she and Hank got engaged or something, but wrong again.

"I know I shouldn't be telling you, well rather showing you this."

She handed me a piece of paper. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"I love Jean." "SS 4 JG" "Jean Summers" It was Scott's writing.

He felt the same way. I nearly started jumping for joy.

But I couldn't let Storm see me do that, "Well if he wants me, he better ask"

That's the thing with me, I act all tough on the outside, but inside I'm soft as baby skin

So I finally knew how Scott felt. But still didn't want to make the first move.

Look where that got me. One day in the garden after checking up on Hank.

Logan came up to me, "Any word on when Beast will be back on his feet?"

He then asked me how I was feeling, I told him I wish I never knew him.

"So how come you find me so attractive?"

"I wish I knew."

Before I knew it he was kissing me in the garden.

I sensed Scott looking at us from the window. 

Scott left that night, he joined Magneto. I thought I lost him forever.

He did come back, but he was a lot quieter, and never spoke as much.

He hardly spent time with any of us, especially me. I had split up with Logan.

I don't know what will happen to my relationship with Scott. 

I hurt him, and now that hurts me.


End file.
